Market Characters

While markets harbour zillions of different characters, market traders fall into their own special categories. Most markets have at least one of the following.


Mr Boastful has always had a good day regardless of any negative factors every trader encounters on a regular basis. He will happily tell you exactly how well he did last Wednesday when every other trader who was present at the self same market knows jolly well it was a hopeless day. ‘I know the others were struggling, but I had my best day this month.’ (Then gives outlandish figure!)

Mr Boastful used to have a stall three times as big as it is now but then he realised he could take just as much if not more by downsizing. Am sure Freud would have something to say about the constant referrals to size of frontage (these means the length of the stall.)

Then there is the Moaner. Markets aren’t what they used to be (true but the same could be said of all retail at the moment). The Moaner always ends up next to someone he or she doesn’t like, who talks too much, too little or has nothing to say of any importance. The Moaner nearly always starts late and finishes early and then complains about the lack of business.

The Story Teller is always full of beans and has a different tale for every day of the week. If there isn’t an imaginative story to tell then there is a smutty joke or two. Sometimes the stories are almost true but the elaborations are so entertaining, who cares?

The Loner rarely converses with anyone this is either due to acute shyness or a complete lack of interest in participating with others. Market trading is a strange occupation for anyone who isn’t keen on interaction but it happens. It is hard to know if The Loner even passes the time of day with customers.

The Know It All can hold court for hours. If you see the same customer trapped for hours on his or her stall you will know they are being treated to a lengthy session of ‘putting the world to rights’. The Know It All is always first in line to help The Newcomer (see below.) The Know It All has been a trader for a hundred years and you can't tell them anything (and they don't listen much anyhow.)

The Wide Boy has done a great deal on the goods spread out before him; he bought the whole container ‘for a song.’ He always has a product before it hits the stores and will ‘make a killing’ then switch to something new. You won’t see Wide Boy at the same market every week as he works in circuits.

The Newcomer turns up earlier than anyone else looking anxious to get a pitch. Their stall bars are all shiny and new and they try to look like they know what they are doing and usually fail miserably. Everyone ignores The Newcomer.

The Pitcher is never popular as he attracts punters away from other stalls purely by volume of noise. Constantly reiterating the same sales pitch they drive their neighbours to distraction.

I've already mentioned The Flibbertigibbet in a previous post so check that one out for details!